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--------[Brian comes upon a hole {Hmmmm. Stop thinking that, you naughty
	 person! You know wot I mean.} with a hermit in it. {I said stop
Brian	Hey! Is there another way down? Is there another path down to the
Hermit	Mmmmm. Mmmmm.
Brian	Please please help me. I've got to get...
--------[He sees everyone following him, so he jumps into the hole to hide.]
Hermit	Mmmm. [Brian lands on his foot.]  OH my foot!!! Oh!
Brian	Ssssh.
Hermit	Oh, Damn, damn, damn!
Brian	I'm sorry! Ssssh.
Hermit	Oh, Damn, damn, and blast it!
Brian	I'm sorry! Ssssh.
Hermit	Don't you 'Ssssh' me. Eighteen years of total silence, and you Sssh
Brian	What?
Hermit	I've kept my vow for eighteen years. Not a single, recognisable
	articulate sound has passed my lips.
Brian	Oh please, could you be quiet just another five minutes?
Hermit	Oh, it doesn't matter now, I might as well enjoy myself. The times in
	the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout, and sing, and scream my
	name out!
Brian	Sssssh.
--------[He starts getng happy, jumping up and down, while Brian tries to
	 stop him.]
Hermit	Oh, I'm alive! I'm father Gila. I'm father Gila. I'm father Gaaaagh!
	Oh I'm alive, I'm alive. Hello birds. Hello trees. I'm aligggh! Get
	off. I'm alive! I'm father Gila, I'm father and I'm. <	    >!!!
	[He sees everyone.]
--------[They see him, and run over to the hole.]
Folowrs Master! Master!
Folowr5 The master!
Folowr	He is here!
folowr	The shoe...
Folowr3 Speak!
Folowrs Sssssh.
Folowr3 Speak to us master, speak to us.
Brian	Go away!
Folowrs A blessing! A blessing!
Folowr3 How shall we go away, master?
Brian	Oh, just go away. Leave me alone!
Folowr5 Give us a sign!
Folowr3 He has given us a sign. He has brought us to this place!
Brian	I didn't bring you here, you just followed me.
Folowr5 Oh, it's still a good sign by any standard.
Folowr3 Master, your people have walked many miles to be with you. They  are
	weary, and have not eaten.
Brian	It's not my fault they haven't eaten.
Folowr3 There is no food in this high mountain.
Brian	Well what about the juniper bushes over there.
Folowrs  A miracle! A miracle!
--------[A few of them go over to the bushes to eat.]
Folowr5 He has made the bush fruitful by His word.
Folowr2 They have brought forth juniper berries!
Brian	Of course they've brought forth juniper berries, they're juniper
	bushes! What do you expect?
Folowr1 Show us another miracle!
Folowr3 Do not tempt him, shallow ones! Is not the miracle of the juniper
	bushes enough?		
Hermit	I say. Those are my juniper bushes.
Folowr3 They are a gift from God!
Hermit	They're all I've bloody got to eat.
	[He jumps up naked out of his hole, and starts chasing people away.]
	Ugn. I say. Get off those bushes. Go on. Clear off, the lot of you.
Folowr6 Lord! I am affected by a bald patch.
BlindMn I am healed! The master has healed me!
Brian	I didn't touch him!
BlindMn I was blind, and now I can see! Oh!
--------[The blind man throws away his cane, and steps forward... right into
	 the hole. Nobody notices.]
Folowrs A miracle! A miracle!
Hermit	[After coming back to Brian.]
	Tell them to stop it. I hadn't said a word for eighteen years 'till
	he came along.
Folowrs A miracle! He is the Messiah!
Hermit	Well he hurt my foot!
Folowrs Hurt my foot lord, hurt mine.
Folowr3 Hail, messiah.
--------[They all get down on their knees.]
Brian	I'm not the messiah.
Folowr3 I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.
Folowrs Hail messiah!
Brian	I'm not the messiah, would you please listen. I'm not the messiah, do
	you understand? Honestly!
Folowr4 Only the true messiah denies his divinity.
Brian	What? Well what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the
Folowrs He IS! He IS the messiah!
--------[They prostrate themselves in front of him.]
Brian	Now fuck off!
Folowr3 How shall we fuck off oh lord?
Brian	Oh just go away. Leave me alone.
Hermit	You told these people to eat my juniper berries. You break my bloody
	foot, you break my vow of silence, and then you try to clean up on my
	juniper bushes.
Brian	Oh, lay off.
Folowr3 This is the messiah. The chosen one.
Hermit	No he's not.
Brian	Aaaagh!
Folowr3 An un-believer!
Folowrs An un-believer!
Folowr3 Persecute! Kill the heretic!
--------[They pick him up {Hey babe... what's your sign?} and carry him off.]
Folowrs Kill! Kill him! [etc...]
Brian	Leave him alone! Leave him alone! Leave him alone. Put him down.
--------[One person is left behind.]
Judith	Brian?
Brian	Judith??

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